4 of my gal pals were on their way over for a ladies night.... we had to go out to eat instead since it was pure misery inside. (btw... ladies night= super fun. Repeat!!)
Got home about ten and quickly realized there was no waaaaaaay I was sleeping at home. Found a wonderful soul to shelter me for the evening. There I am- driving on I-95.. having a grand ol' time with the top down on my car, singing along with Prince, enjoying the breeze. ...Then the motorcyclists started wizzing by. I was already going like 80mph so they must have been doing 100+, at least 25-30 of them. I didnt even want to change lanes in case there was one coming I wasn't seeing. I had my seatbelt halfway on (just the bottom belt) and was thinking how stupid that was. I had just put my arm under the shoulder strap, when all the lights in front of me turned red. Brake lights. A million of them. My heart sank and I knew it was one of the bikers.
Within a few seconds I was there... the front car. I didn't see the accident but I think the others cars right that had were too close to it to stop. Only about 10 feet in front of me was a majorly crumpled up motorcycle, shards of metal and glass all over... and a guy in only jeans and a tshirt on the ground about 50 feet away. I felt my heart go up into my throat. All his buddies had stopped now and were surrounding him. I saw him move and had an instance of relief-- he's still alive. I sat there thinking what could I do... not much. So I prayed.
After the 5 longest minutes ever I realized I wasn't helping anything but slowing down the ambulances that were on the way. I couldnt go straight as there was too much debris and frantic people in front of me. I backed up a bit and weaved through to get around. As I made it past I looked over and saw him right there, not 10 feet away on the ground... lots of blood :(. I couldnt breathe much-- my heart was still in my throat.
I've been checking the internet but haven't seen any news yet. My fingers and toes are crossed he'll be okay. Please do the same.
All night and all day I've just been thinking about life and how it can be gone in an instant. How we spend so much time worrying about pointless things and stuff. What it boils down to IMHO?: Do you want to be around the people that have the most money, the most awards, the most talents... or do you want to be around those who are nice to you? Who care about you? Who make you feel good about yourself and make you want to be a better person? And do those people know that?
Just last month my sister's best friend's 3 year old son died of cancer. His name is Ronan. His mom, Maya, has an amazing blog (www.rockstarronan.com) and a foundation taking donations for finding the cure for neuroblastoma, the disease that took this cutest little 3 year old you've ever seen's life. Check it out. I recommend to start at the beginning... be ready to cry and be inspired, amung a million other emotions-- like Fuck You Cancer. She's been an inspiration to me about so many things over the last 10 months since he was diagnosed. Namely- what really matters... the people you love.
So, with all these cases of life's fragility put right in front of my face. I throw sounding cheesy and corny or risking embarrasment or rejection out the window. There's some proverb I can't recall exactly... about always telling someone how you feel in case you never get another chance or there's no tomorrow.
Don't be surprised if I get all mushy with you next time I see you. Just in case anything happens...
...and, My favorite quote (well, one of them). I have this one framed at home:
"Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away."