Thursday, June 23, 2011

Broken AC = Give Love

Something happened with my AC the other day... I think it's the communications since the AC is hooked up to the alarm.  Regardless of what's wrong with it... it's friggin' HOTTTTTTTTTT in the house!  When I got home from work yesterday it was NINETY ONE degrees inside!! Yuck :(
4 of my gal pals were on their way over for a ladies night.... we had to go out to eat instead since it was pure misery inside. (btw... ladies night= super fun. Repeat!!)

Got home about ten and quickly realized there was no waaaaaaay I was sleeping at home.  Found a wonderful soul to shelter me for the evening.  There I am- driving on I-95.. having a grand ol' time with the top down on my car, singing along with Prince, enjoying the breeze.  ...Then the motorcyclists started wizzing by. I was already going like 80mph so they must have been doing 100+,  at least 25-30 of them.   I didnt even want to change lanes in case there was one coming I wasn't seeing.  I had my seatbelt halfway on (just the bottom belt) and was thinking how stupid that was.   I had just put my arm under the shoulder strap, when all the lights in front of me turned red.  Brake lights. A million of them.  My heart sank and I knew it was one of the bikers. 

Within a few seconds I was there... the front car.  I didn't see the accident but I think the others cars right that had were too close to it to stop.  Only about 10 feet in front of me was a majorly crumpled up motorcycle, shards of metal and glass all over... and a guy in only jeans and a tshirt on the ground about 50 feet away.  I felt my heart go up into my throat.  All his buddies had stopped now and were surrounding him. I saw him move and had an instance of relief-- he's still alive.  I sat there thinking what could I do... not much. So I prayed.

After the 5 longest minutes ever I realized I wasn't helping anything but slowing down the ambulances that were on the way.  I couldnt go straight as there was too much debris and frantic people in front of me.  I backed up a bit and weaved through to get around.  As I made it past I looked over and saw him right there, not 10 feet away on the ground... lots of blood :(.  I couldnt breathe much-- my heart was still in my throat.

I've been checking the internet but haven't seen any news yet.  My fingers and toes are crossed he'll be okay.  Please do the same.

All night and all day I've just been thinking about life and how it can be gone in an instant.  How we spend so much time worrying about pointless things and stuff.  What it boils down to IMHO?: Do you want to be around the people that have the most money, the most awards, the most talents... or do you want to be around those who are nice to you? Who care about you? Who make you feel good about yourself and make you want to be a better person?  And do those people know that?

Just last month my sister's best friend's 3 year old son died of cancer.  His name is Ronan.  His mom, Maya, has an amazing blog (www.rockstarronan.com) and a foundation taking donations for finding the cure for neuroblastoma, the disease that took this cutest little 3 year old you've ever seen's life.  Check it out. I recommend to start at the beginning...  be ready to cry and be inspired, amung a million other emotions-- like Fuck You Cancer. She's been an inspiration to me about so many things over the last 10 months since he was diagnosed. Namely- what really matters... the people you love.

So, with all these cases of life's fragility put right in front of my face. I throw sounding cheesy and corny or risking embarrasment or rejection out the window.  There's some proverb I can't recall exactly... about always telling someone how you feel in case you never get another chance or there's no tomorrow.  
Don't be surprised if I get all mushy with you next time I see you.  Just in case anything happens...





...and, My favorite quote (well, one of them). I have this one framed at home:

"Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.  Love isn't love until you give it away."

Monday, June 20, 2011

Selfish

I went to the gas station today in a hurry. When the card reader wouldn't work, saying "please see attendant", I got all irritated.  I went inside... the guy was quite nice and asked if I could hold for one minute while the pumps were closing out. I gave a somewhat snooty fine and waited for what was more like 30 seconds before he said it was working.  As I walked out to the car I just felt so disgusted with myself.  Really? Did I just give him attitude because I had to walk inside? Had to wait a minute? Had to be "inconvenienced"?   I felt so bad I went back in after my gas was pumped and told him thanks and that I was sorry for being impatient :)  haha

I was 17 when I took my first trip out of the country.  I went t o Honduras with 7 people, and we built 6 houses in 10 days for (and with) the people in a tiny little town near Guacamaya who had lost their homes to Hurricane Mitch.




Absolutely without a doubt, the most life changing experience I've had to this day.  These people had no running water, no electricity, no bathrooms, no floors, no shoes... but some serious gratitude.   One of the most special moments was when we handed out stuffed animals to the children who had never had one. The joy in their lil faces to have something as simple as a teddy bear-  I'll never forget that.  When I have kids someday I want to take them on trips like this for Christmas vacation and have them give their toys away instead of buying them 20 new ones. I think everyone should go into a third world country and volunteer.... it was phenomenal.  It makes you remember and really be grateful for what you have.  America-- land of opportunities-- is an understatement.  

In August, it'll be 11 years that I've lived in Miami.  I've let it rub off on me too much. I find myself to be super selfish lately.  Like I expect everything to always go as I want it to.  Barf.

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

My HS senior project was on volunteerism (these pics are from my scrapbook project).  The main theme was that you really do get more than you give.  What a fantastic thing!!  Im so excited to go on this trip and hopefully get back my understanding of selflessness, rather than the current selfishness.  Not just on the physical level,  but moreso on the emotional level. Something about being here in Miami's superficiality, in this age of materialism, and being single too boot---I've grown accustomed  to doing/spending/saying/acting however I want, whenever I want.  No one to answer to and no consequences... it's easy to get selfish.  Definitely not a term I want to associate with myself.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

"If you continually give, you will continually have."

I'm planning on spending lots of time in little villages like the Honduran one I went too. Sure I'll see the big cities... but it's the little ones that you really get to see and experience the cultures IMHO. Please be sure and let me know of any opportunities you're aware of!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Backstage Access!!

If you want to come watch the World Championships in Tampa this year, August 2-7, send me a headshot of yourself and I can get you an ID to come into the Athletes area...  I feel cool :)

http://tampa2011.idbfworldchamps.com/

Monday, June 6, 2011

Expectations

{There's an old story about a young man who's freezing on the side of the road in Alaska. He's hitching a ride to Miami.  He's so cold he can barely hold up his handmade sign. After a long wait, a friendly trucker stops and says, "I'm not going to Miami, but I'm going as far as Fort Lauderdale."
    Dejectedly, the young man says, "Oh," and turns the ride down.}

What a dumbass!!! This is an excerpt from a book* my mom gave me.  The book says, "How often do we refuse our fate under the guise of holding out for the right thing? How often do we turn down the path presented like a gift because it's not exactly what we're dreaming of?"

I thought this was awesome and worthy of a blog :)  Of course one can argue that it's called having high standards... of which I know I certainly have... but  I think there's a fine line between the two that can easily get crossed.  Kindof like the line between courage and stupidity :)



I've let a few of my long distance friendships fissle because I didn't think the other person thought of me as a close enough friend or they'd be contacting me more.. no?? No!  I had too many expectations for what their side of the friendship was.  I wish I had learned the lesson my grandpa was teaching me growing up.  He didn't care when or how often you came to visit- but you knew you were beyond loved in his presence.  Even if you came over and only popped your head into his room to say hi, he was happy beyond words. He was awesome.

 How much better to be remembered like my Gramps, one who gives unconditional love, than the one who couldnt be pleased!!! "To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love."

Im a pretty happy happy person. But I've also been know to shy away from hosting/planning events, because then there's an expectation...  And with an expectation, can come a dissappointment.  That's lame of me.... working on that :)  How much better to have an open mind and embrace whatever it is that comes??

Sooo.... what am I expecting on this trip?! Not much really!!  I plan to see some really cool places and meet some really cool people.  Probably I'll see some not so cool places and people... but lessons can be learned from those too.  I plan to soak up every piece of advice I'm given and open myself to any kind of change that will make me a better person. I expect to eat some good food... hopefully not too much bad food.  Most of all, I plan to love and appreciate every minute of it!!!! Im fully aware this trip won't be all peaches and cream for your skeptics out there...  But... " Life isn't about avoiding the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain."  Luckily... I love dancing in the rain :)
I'm somewhat of a quote whore :0), so I'll share some that are inspiring me:

Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild
expectations.

Everything you want in the World is just outside your comfort zone.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.

What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expected generally happens.





 *"The Book of Awakening"  by Mark Nepo. It's like a one a day inspiration type thing if you want to check it out.