Thursday, February 14, 2013

A blog about Loooove

Aww’s in the air! Two days ago my sister got engaged!!! Yesterday I watched 100’s of elephant seals in mating season getting it ooon... and today, Valentines, I’m already madly in love with Big Sur, of the California Coast! I love Love. I love to Love :)

Romantically speaking, the first time I fell in love was 16 years ago, wow! In those 16 years I’ve been in love 3.5 times (2 insanely true loves... and 2 true, but not so mad times, that only get 75% credit in comparison ;). Out of 16 years, over 10 of them have been in committed relationships with one of those 4 (don’t fret, I’ve taken full advantage of the 6 single years ;).  I’m no expert on romantic love, but I’ve got enough of it under my belt to know I have a pretty good idea of what it’s about, what it should feel like, what it takes to be successful.  That’s not to say I always enact or follow those ideas...yeaahhh... that's the hard part ;).  Hindsight is always 20/20 ;).  

Generally speaking though, I’ve been loving wildly for 30 years :)  Loving life and moments and energy.  This is the love I AM an ‘expert’ on... the one that has fueled and ignited and produced so much happiness in my every single day. It gets easier and easier and more abundant as time goes on and I learn more things and gain more wisdom and everything always comes out okay! 

My secret to happiness?? I’m in a constant love fest :). 

I love bubble baths. I love Salt and Pepper hair. I love Barefeet. I love kids with shoes on the wrong feet. Cars with lots of stickers. The word awesome. Pregnant women. Ginormous smiles. Old ladies with long hair and perfectly wonderful naturally wrinkled skin. Spontaneous random memories. Climbing trees. Rocks. Rivers. Mountains. Waterfalls. Moss. Ferns. Men with big sexy long hair. Sweaty bodies. Hearty laughs. Inside jokes. The way sunlight glitters through a forest canopy. Finding a penny. Wishing on stars.  11:11 on a clock. the number 23- everywhere. Lollipops. Tie-dye. Winking. Big lips. Bear hugs. Laying in a hammock. Singing randomly. Forehead kisses. Anywhere kisses ;). Realizing I’ve left home w/ my slippers on. Wynonna Judd. Aaron Neville. Foot massages. Hot tea. Pumpkin anything. Yoga at sunrise. The colors of the sky just before sunset. Getting cozy by a fire. The across-the-room-knowing-stare. Seeing someone’s soul through their eyes. Silence. Commotion. Warm rain. Rainbows. Working your ass off and the crazy soreness that follows. Waking up under the stars. Waking up at all. The list could go on forever. I love millions and millions of things and feelings and sights and moments and people and places and memories and sensations. 

Every day may not be great, but there is something great in every day :). I’ve been lots of places, have done lots of things, and have met loooots of people, plenty of which have almost nothing. Everyone is different,  but the recipe is all the same. No matter what you have (or don’t have), no matter what your situation, how much $ you have, or what you are going through, you can love. The more you love the happier you are.  Love is an attitude. A choice. A boomerang. In a hug, in a smile, in a gesture, in a hand shake, in a tone of voice. Choose to love. Love all you can and all day long. It doesn’t cost you anything, yet it will give you the best happiness... and it WILL come back to you. Extend it to the obvious and the not so obvious.  Extend it to a memory. Extend it especially to things that don’t have a price tag. Extend it to all people, it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile anyways ;).  Something, someone, anything, anyone... and be most sure to include yourself!

I decided to write this blog for the same reason I’ve decided to start an inspirational adventure company!!!  Over the last few years I’ve had many many inquires about how I stay happy, how do I stay optimistic,  how do I not get lonely, how do I let go/move on, how do I stay positive. The answer is not in that I don’t have down times (I do!), just that I bounce back faster. Way faster.  It’s time I stop tiptoeing around the humbling fact that for some folks I am a source of inspiration, and embrace it instead! 

Details need to get sorted out, but generally it’s going to be an adventure company (need some name ideas!) for women!!!! Sorry dudes :). Not to say that men don’t have their struggles over love and self-esteem, I know for sure they do. I just work better w/ women... they don’t get threatened by ma skillz, and they don’t try to get in ma pants ;) haaaa!  Mostly though, I want to concentrate, because women are generally wired to correlate their self worth with love received from others. They/we get fundamentally wrapped up in it, socially jailed by it, emotionally burdened by it. So happy in it, so sad without it. Then so miserable in it, but scared to be without it. The grass is always greener on the other side ;). 
I'm leaning towards "Follow No Crowd" as the name... opinions? 
The general premise is, I’ll plan/accompany/lead one woman (or a few depending) on a multi-day personalized adventure to suit the needs/likes/hopes of the guest. The goal would be to have a fun vacation, do some awesome stuff, push ourselves... but the real true primary goal, would be to build confidence. To instill a sense of self value, self joy, self love, and an understanding that people can only love you as much as you love yourself.  I’m no psychologist, nor do I have all the answers, but I love to adventure, love to push the envelope, the comfort zone, ask deep questions, probe hidden fears..... especially if I know the person is open to it!!!  Mostly I love to share ideas and gratitude and breakthroughs.  If you’ve ever spent any time with me, you know the description as an “instigator” is spot on :).  I’ve always utilized that skill in the physical, outlandish, sometimes mischievous sense, but recently it’s been quite useful in an emotional, spiritual, intuitive sense.  I’m no expert on anything, and If I waited until I was, if anybody waited until they were, nobody would ever start anything.  So I’m starting now! It’s not a big money maker or a full on career, I still want to do architecture, but it’s exploring a passion, the longterm goal being to tie it into Barefoot Village. For now, there have been sooooo many signs pointing towards starting here...(plus BV needs way more funds than I’ve got)! If I can help somebody, even just a little bit, become more confident, more aware of their own talents and passions, more open to loving all the quirks in life, and have lots of fun doing it, I’ll get even happier!!! :). I have my fair share of struggles, but I honestly believe I’m one of the happier women out there (on track to be the happiest!!!), and I’d like to spread as much of it as I can!! :)

And...because it is Valentines day, and most people will be thinking about romantic love, I pass on this fabulous, awesomely deep advice, (possibly hard to follow if you’ve never been introduced to these concepts) from Osho.  These are the things I most need to work on in my own romantic love life ;).  Heyyyy... and if you don’t grasp it,  let’s go on an adventure and talk about it!!!!! ;)  

“No one has to love you, there is no obligation to love you, so if someone loves you, be thankful. If somebody loves, it is a miracle. Be thrilled by the miracle. Never demand perfection, you have no right to demand anything. If you demand, you close doors. You inspire someone to be false just to please you.  Love needs a non-demanding, non-expecting atmosphere.”

“When you are waiting and expecting, the other feels manipulated, whether or not it is said or realized, it is felt. And the first reaction to manipulation? to rebel against it!! Because it goes against the inner need of the soul. Your freedom is polluted.  So love, not as a need, as a sharing. Love, but don’t expect; give. Love should not be an imprisonment. don’t destroy the individuality of the other. Love should give you freedom. It should make you completely free.”  

And my second time sharing this quote... because, I love it;) 

“Loneliness is an absence. It is a state when you are ill with yourself, bored with yourself, tired of yourself, and you want to go somewhere and to forget yourself in being involved with somebody else.  Aloneness is when you are thrilled just by your being. You are blissful just by being yourself. you need not go anywhere. Need has disappeared, you are enough unto yourself.  But now, a new thing arises in your being you have so much that you cannot contain it. You have to share, you have to give. and whoever accepts your gifts, you will feel grateful that the person has accepted. Lovers feel grateful that their love has been accepted. They are thankful, because they feel so full of energy and they needed someone to pour that energy into. When you are lonely, you love as a need, in order to get. When you are alone, you love in order to give”

Happy Valentines Day! Love as much as you can! Have a wonderfully, un-expectant, totally giving, grateful evening with your loved one or friends, or happily alone! Just don't be lonely, purty please :)  xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Yes, Yes, Yes. I get it. I agree with you. Especially your insight of self. And even though I agree with you that you are likely on your way to being the happiest woman (human) alive,I'm thinking the only thing that could get in your way (on this pursuit of total happiness) is the competition itself of wanting or trying to be the "happiest" woman. Happiness, born and matured from a loving place/nature, would not have a competitive force driving it forward. But I could be wrong. After all, you are in fact, beating the heck out of me! Now a brain storm of names: "Adventures in the Name of Love", "Nature Loving Adventures", "The Natural Woman Adventure Agency","Wherever Love Is, I Want to Be", "Adventures Outside the Box", No Makeup Required Adventures", "Learning to Smile When No One is Looking", Adventure's Outside For Women", "Finding Yourself Outdoors"...most of these are lame. But I want credit for at least trying!