Today is Friday the 13th! Most likely you’ve been conditioned to think that means an unlucky day...
A good friend once called me out (which I loved btw), saying that no one has a perfect life, so what’s my story? I never have, nor never will, think I have a perfect life... but it IS imperfectly fantastic ;). I consciously honor every thought and emotion that enters my brain/body/heart, and I choose how to deal with it, react to it. It’s not always easy and definitely not always pleasant, but I choose to look for the positive, or at least neutrality. That did not come innately. I learned that. I sought it out. I fought for it. I continue to make it a priority. You can too :)
PING!! My brain twitches and shimmies and does the jig. What’s this?? A negative connotation?!?! Hmmm... let’s check this out. Let’s do a little research and see about this ‘scary’ Friday the 13th. Is it deserving of it’s reputation?
Ahhh, guess what? It all depends how you choose to look at it :). There are endless articles about where this reputation comes from. I found it’s supposedly the ‘original day of sin’, but it’s all very vague. Did you know that in our our calendar system, the 13th day of the month is more likely to fall on a Friday than any other day of the week? We had three Friday the 13th’s in 2012!! It appears that starting way back when, folks began documenting bad things that happened on Friday. Well, shoot, more people DO things on Friday, so it makes sense more bad things happen then! Seems like pure logistics to me!!! :)
Then, I also found an article that touts Friday the 13th as quite lucky indeed! For one, because so many people are scared of something bad happening, they are more careful :). But for two, it’s been said “the day and the number were once associated with the Great Goddesses, and therefore, regarded as the sacred essence of luck and fortune”. I much prefer this :).
I’ve noticed that, no matter what your view/belief/ideal about something is, you can almost always find something or someone to corroborate your opinion, especially if it’s negative. And even if it’s false!
We love to complain together :). This is not entirely baffling when we learn that there are many more (generally deemed) negative emotions, than there are (deemed) positive!!! (I say 'deemed' because emotions are neutral, it's the context and your feelings about them that make them pos/neg)
The question then, is NOT, can you find 1000 ways to validate the negative, but rather: Can you come up with ONE positive aspect, from anywhere, but especially from your own imagination? Why not choose to be on the positive?
It’s all how you look at it. It’s attitude. There are a number of words that I’ve been cataloging. Words that often get a bad rap, because they can occasionally get abused. Yet, when you really look at the word, it is quite amazing. This also PING’s my brain. It’s like reading a great book, finding 2 or 3 sentences in it that don’t ring true, and thus discrediting the whole book. Hmm!
Take a look at these words. Take a moment on each and see what emotion/thoughts/feelings come up in you:
(please feel free to comment with more words we can add to the list!)
.... what were your thoughts? Was there an overall negative pull? Or were there some words that felt positive? Maybe neutral? Whereby you could pull up specific instances that give a negative thought or a positive one?
Did you once know a hippy friend that was drugged out and constantly bumming money? But what about the millions of hippies that live self-sufficient, loving, eco-friendly, beautiful lives?
Powerful? Often times we associate powerful with greedy, wealthy, abusers of power. Adolf Hitler was powerful, but so was our late and great Nelson Mandela.
Being single? If you read this blog of mine, you know I love being single. It truly is wonderful, yet so often people tend to focus on the singular fact that they don’t want to be, so are unhappy about it.
Each and every of these words has a debate involved in it.... and I choose to see the positive. You too can choose to see the positive.
Because we DO get to choose.
My very favorite of all those words, is CHANGE.
Change is such an incredible thing. When held in the context of our saving our earth, updating government policies, the education system, (or our underwear!) it is seen as a positive . Let’s change!! Yet so often, when referring to ourselves (our disposition, our temperament, our beliefs, our defaults) it’s seen as negative. “I can’t change, this is just the way that I am.”
That is a 99% false statement, and revs up every life-coach-bone in my body :). Change is not only possible, and wonderful, but inevitable. The smartest thing we can do is embrace it, and juice it for all it’s blessings!!
I’ve been studying and analyzing this word so much lately, Change. I particularly love change, and feel immensely grateful to be BFF’s with it :). As my epic life saga continues, I find myself engulfed in change!! Everything about my situation is different and new and unknown... and it’s completely, totally and wildly amazing :). Just in the past month, I moved to Washington State from Florida (or alabama or everywhere). I have a home (yay!!) instead of being a nomad. I have a closet rather than a backpack! It’s mittens and scarf and hat weather vs. bikini weather. I merrily cook 2- 3 meals a day (as opposed to thinking I didn’t enjoy it before). I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, let alone in a month and in a year. And yet, I’m in utter bliss :)
Change means many things to me. Change means growth. Change means a new experience. Experience means exposure. Exposure means open eyes, open mind and open heart. Open eyes mean thinking, seeing. Open mind means learning. Open heart means understanding and empathy. Empathy means patience. Patience means love. Love means gratitude. Being grateful means being happy. :)
Change= growth. Growth=happy. Therefore (by transitive law!), Change= happy :). There is no quality more beneficial to and for a person, that that of being willing to grow. It is the quality I seek out in all my relationships. Even more so, I seek out eagerness to grow in my closest relationships (platonic and carnal). For as long as I live, I will actively grow everyday :). Many relationships fail, sadly, because one or both parties decide to stop growing :(.
Emotional, mental, spiritual growth is perpetually positive. You may not know the reason for your current ‘change’ right at this moment. You may not find out the reason for a year, or 10, or you may never know it. BUT, if you can understand, grasp, and welcome the notion that whatever is changing in your life is something that you need, something that is benefitting you, that is pushing your life into the direction it wants to go, you will be happier.
Earlier in this blog I stated that my life is an epic saga. I am endlessly grateful for every twist and turn that’s been in it. My life is an epic saga because I choose to see it that way, I choose to make it that way. On paper: I have no job. I have $659 in the bank. I just sold my trailer...to cover the cost of moving. My rent is more than my income (seeking a roomie!). I owe my mom $1525. I have a $3500 bill for a hospital procedure that was supposed to be covered by my insurance, but wasn't :(. I currently owe $500 to my charity kids, yet hold a strong intuition that I’m getting somewhat scammed by the admin, but I can’t let those babies down. Come January I'll have to tap my IRA to cover all these and continue moving towards my dreams. People very very very close to me, immediate family and best friends, are fighting cancer, obesity, depression, divorce, addiction, self-destruction, major life changes and stresses: marriage, children, moving, abuse. As a highly empathic and major-change driven individual, these weigh on me heavily. I have people I love that won’t speak to me, unanswered questions I struggle to let go of, and a never ending, always growing to-do list. I’ve got a tooth ache and a 6mo waiting period for my dental insurance. I have majorly premature forehead wrinkles, AND... I have a continual stream of new hairs that seem to find immense joy in growing on my chin ;).
The forehead wrinkle mystery solved. I just recently saw this clip from an
i-have-a-brilliant-idea video my mom took of me in September.
Whoa, animation! Obviously, my wrinkles come from sheer enthusiasm!!
To grow, a plant needs sun and rain. It needs shade and it needs dirt. Worms and bees and compost are helpful. And for expedited growth? It needs shit!! Lots of stinky, nasty, fertilizing shit :). This is a non-subtle analogy to our lives!!! There is no perfection. We will all wither away and join back the earth one day. You can bloom... and better sooner than later!
There IS always another way to look at any situation. Choose positive. Choose growth. Choose change. Choose happy. :)
How? Seek out the positive. Be curious. Welcome all experiences. Embrace change like it was the biggest best bear hug of your life!!!
Go have yourself a phenomenally lucky and wonderful Friday the 13th :).
Spread happy :)