Saturday, February 8, 2014

Life is Beautiful, Everything Happens for a Reason, Trust Yourself, and Question like a kid: Rantings from a flu-struck lady :)

AHHHHHH. YAAAAAAA… YESSSS, yes yes yes yes yes. Mmmmmmmmm.  I'm smiling all over  the place right now. Not necessarily on my face, because I'm still a little sick and therefore looking more like a slug, but smiling all over on my insides nonetheless :)

I'm forewarning you, this blog is a bit chaotic (more than normal), but I like it this way. It's a pretty accurate representation of my brain streams :)

Speaking of my brain streams... my mental game is on fire! In the good way!! It's engulfed in the reality that everything happens exactly as it is supposed to. Everything. The suck thing. The hard thing. The expensive thing. The illogical thing. The unexplainable thing.  The unfair, the rude, the stupid, the cruel, the insensitive, the fucked up…especially the fucked up!

All the positive things too of course :). It's all perfectly imperfect. Seriously.

Life is imperfectly perfect. I am imperfectly perfect. You are imperfectly perfect.  The closest thing to true perfect is simply progress! There is no absolute perfect, and that itself is the perfection :).  How great!!!!! As soon as we can recognize/accept/embrace this, that we indeed know nothing in the grand scheme of things, we open up a whole world of learning and growing and progressing and evolving and BLOOMINGGGGG!!!

I've been saying that, feeling like I had that, understood that- for some time. But these last few months have been hammered by it. Clearly life wanted to drive this lesson deeper into me! It seems counterintuitive, but knowledge can actually be a hinderance to progress.

What's that you say? No way? Yes way I say! :).   Don't get me wrong, I looooove knowledge. Knowledge is only a hindrance when we believe we have enough, when we blindly trust it without a heart/gut check, and when we stop actively seeking it. The best, most prolific example of it as a barrier? Saying, "I know." My newest development practice is to not say I know at all! It's hard!!!

When we think we know something already, we are then missing a great opportunity to learn something more, something different, something unthought of. We are are missing an opportunity to let someone else share, to give someone a spotlight, to let them contribute. And sometimes, it stops us from seeing beyond their message to their meaning. For example:  If someone you know is constantly trying to explain things you already know… could it be they are a natural teacher? One that needs some prodding to pursue it? Could you support them in starting a group, a mini class, a book? Or a blog! There they can preach as much as they want ;). hehe

The point being, it doesn't cost you anything to replace "I know" with "thank you."  Give it a whirl ;)

Second, knowledge accepted by the head alone is only 1/3 useful. Meaning, if you trust that which you've been taught (moreso social knowledge here, but periodically formal education), simply because you have been told it just is, this is like going to sail across the ocean and forgetting your boat.  Take your knowledge, PLUS check in with your gut, your instinct, your intuition, your intellect, your heart. Does this common 'knowledge' actually make sense? Examples: Taking care of your skin is only for girls. Boys should not cry. Say you are fine when you are not. Hair growing on your back is wrong. Someone who changes careers failed. Without a degree you can do nothing great. I am only one person, I can't make a difference.

No, no, no, no, no, no, and super no :).  Use a three part process: What does your heart, gut, and then head say?

And the continual seeking of knowledge? How do we do that? We get curious and ask questions :)  Let's look to the experts for how to do this.

And by experts, I mean the 3-4 year olds :)

Children know they don’t know anything, so they question everything.  Why does this stop as adults? The short answer is:  is doesn't have to.

We can learn so much from those cute little devils ;). They crave learning, about anything and everything. And they ask deep, profound questions.  They are not tainted by societies pressure. They live solely by the point made above, with heart and body and curiosity, without the mind interfering. If a 3 yr. asks you some offbeat question, like, “Are you a boy or a girl?” or "Why do you have hair on your chin?' or "Why are you shouting?" or "Why are you crying on Sunday?" can you simply give them an honest answer?  The common mislabeled excuse put on them is, “they don’t know any better”... but I don't believe this is a problem at all. I believe the problem lies in the getting offended, and becoming defensive. A reaction to such a legitimate question by thinking/saying/expressing that they need to ‘know better’ is insisting they conform to societal rules rather than continue honest curiosity and communication.  Please nooooo!!!

Why not just answer?  What is behind that question that is making it hard to answer for you?  Is there a truth to it you don't want to face?

Okay wow… getting a bit off topic (typical ;). Back to the point! hah!

Life knows exactly what it's doing! Yes! Can you just trust it? Trust it with every ounce of your being? Trust it like you'd have to trust your life to your own hands in critical moments? Ah, there it is. There's the real question.... do you trust yourself?

Just like it's essential to love yourself before you can truly love others, just like you have to accept yourself before you can truly belong; trusting yourself is a crucial element to trusting others, and that everything indeed is happening exactly as it should be.

I know that's not easy line up. In fact it's hard. Loving yourself, accepting yourself, trusting yourself, trusting life. It can be torturous, and cruel and sucko and unfathomable. It's worth it though. I can tell you that with all my soul, it's a totally worthy uphill climb. That pesky Offense and Defense start to fall away because there is no need to win. There's no summit, but the view keeps getting better and better!!! And it totally gets easier the higher you climb! :).  Start trekking upwards by asking some simple questions, and then keep asking them!  Questioning (aka curiosity!) even without immediate answers is the fuel for learning (aka growing, climbing!!)!!.  The imperfectly progressing journey is a most fascinating perfect thing :).

Life can be so beautiful! Life IS beautiful! It is what you see it as!  GOOOOODDDDNESSS! I want to be able to explain this so it goes deep into your bonessss!!!!! What does that entail for you? Are you there with me on this? Are you far from there? Are you halfy/halfy? What would it take for you to believe me?  This is an actual question I'd love you to answer. What situations have you had, or are you going thru that make you NOT wholly believe that life knows what it's doing?  Please share :) and maybe one day comes stay at the Bloom Woods!!

2014 for me has seen the end of a beautiful budding friendship, an abrupt halt to my usual bountiful energy, and the end of my breaking even income! I've grossly underestimated the complexity of a business plan, completely highballed how much I could handle completing myself,  spent major time and money fruitlessly experimenting how to get more done, but none of these things can be considered 'wastes' at all because I've learned! The theme of this year has been 'learning' for SURE! Luckily, you know I loveeeeee learninggggg:).

Considering I'm in a new state, new climate, new home, making new connections, starting a new business, new career, living with new roommates- it's no wonder I'm learning a lot :). Everything is new, and I love it :). I realized learning is my favorite hobby ;).  

I think I always knew this, I just called it by different names. I called it Adventure. Travel. Social Experimenting. Cultural immersion. Instigating. Add them all together, Learning is the common thread!!

...btw, that whole analogy came together pretty serenely in my head, another sure sign of my being on the right path, considering the base foundation of the Bloom Woods is ‘Learning thru Adventure’ :) 

Straying off topic again! This is imperfectly perfectly me of me :) 

Back to how suck things in life don't really suck because they are meant to be (whether we know why or not, we can find some positive reason): 

My zapped energy? I’ve been pitifully sick this week, crazy fever and sweats and chills and soar throat and groggy and all that jazz. I had big things to finish this week (because next week is devoted to my sista's wedding!!!), but life had a different idea for me :).  I think it decided to reminder me that we must make time for the things we really love :)

For me that’s writing, and obviously I get sick when I put it off ;). Missed a blog in January = flu!

The halting money? As I've settled in and adjusted to how much gas and food and utilities are per month, I've become fast aware that I'm no longer in the black and won't be back there until...?!  It's red, and turning into murder-scene-Red fast ;).   Especially with all the necessary outlay towards the Bloom Woods. Thus, I'm being catapulted into action.  I've got to either sell my house asap, or blindly dive into seeking investors before I am 'ready' to do so (...the definition of 'ready' is the ultimate ambiguity I believe!).  We'll see soon which way will I go?! Want to be a investor in meeeeee?  :) 

The lost friendship? I could view it as a shame. I could blame it on foolishness. OR, better, I just accept that we are both right within in our own journeys, our own circumstances, within our own histories and existences, and that we each received the exact message we needed. If there's one thing I am completely sure of, it's that what is, is exactly as it should be.

AHHHHHH!!!!! YAYYYY!!! Ha. I think sometimes I probably sound like I'm on drugs-  I'm not I swear!  Mass amounts of herbal tea, but that's pretty innocent :). I'm just high on lifeeee.  I was thinking about how my life probably looks to you, my wonderful followers!  Is it like a real life reality show!?!?  I think it is! As exciting as my life has been the last few years, it's still feels like just the 'trailer'!!!! 60+ more years to gooooooo! I can't even put enough exclamation points to convey the amazingness I feel still to come, and I just want to extend a big virtual bear hug to those of you that like to just get your popcorn and watch, those that stand and cheer along, those that knock knock for a part of the show, and those of you who play crucial roles. I may play the leading lady, but I'm ever-aware how much LOVE is the director :)

Thankkkk youuu! Have a FANTASTIC weekend :)

ps. if you have any questionsssss about this blog or anything, please ask :) OR commments of course are always welcome!


*Becky Jo Fromm*

Always open and eager, to create or grow, receive or trade: 
joy, wisdom, insight, skills, advice, opinions, views, criticism, praise, ideas, suggestions, fun, and most certainly gratitude.  Thank you!! :)

“Everyone is a teacher, everywhere is a classroom, and I, am an eternal student”