Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Edge of my Comfort Zone

For a long time I didn't think my comfort zone had an edge. I operated under the given identity of  "fearless"  and when some different/new/odd feeling came up, it didn't register as fear.  

Why?  Because very little of my fear exists in the physical world. Sports, exercise, recreational activity of any kind?... piece of cake.  It's a shoo-in for me: if I'm feeling down, I can rely on my body to go do something awesome and impressive and it makes me feel great.

For basically the first 29 years of my life, the physical world was all I ever knew existed. That's all most of us know exists. But it's only 1/4 of our existence.  The mental, emotional, and spiritual worlds make up THREE-QUARTERS of our lives, and are THE MOST IMPORTANT AREAS OF OUR LIVES!!!! 

We hear about them more and more and more everyday. Thank goodness for Oprah, Brene Brown, Kristin Neff, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Deepok Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert and so many others for making this knowledge more and more mainstream. The thing they all have in common?? They continue to say THERE IS NO ARRIVAL!!! There is no such thing as "fearless"!!!!!! Fear never goes away, it just becomes easier and easier to recognize, to say thanks for alerting me to a situation I need to address, and I'll take the driver seat now!!!!! THIS IS SO AWESOME!!  But it's scary, in fact it's DANG scary, because these invisible parts of us are what we continue to want to  'hide' from others (and ourselves). 

Hide MY ASS.  

Hiding does nothing but create dis-ease on the inside, which over time become disease. 

My comfort zone, once I've allowed myself to acknowledge it,  is wrapped, maybe even swaddled, around my biggest fears: not being liked, accepted, really seen, understood, and the deepest, not being good enough. My striving to always be the best runs in direct correlation with my fear of not being good enough. 

I'm not okay with that!! Being the BEST version of myself is healthy, being the BEST so others will think I am OK is not.  I'm committing to living bravely, because I have a lot to do in this world and my fear recently started to drive my life! Living Brave, for me, is total transparency as I walk along this path of acknowledging my fear. It gets to have it's seat, as EG says, but it does not get to drive!!!  :) 

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